Journeys Beginning
by BloodTiers
Summary: This story is set directly after the end of the season 4 finale, "Journey's End". The cloned, part human Doctor and Rose Tyler are beginning their new life together. The Doctor comes to terms with his newfound humanity. Their story is just beginning.
1. Prologue

Rose, Jackie and The Doctor stood on the shore of Bad Wolf Bay. The sky was overcast, the clouds a dishwater gray. There was a cold wind, the kind that blows right through your clothes to your bones, and it smelled of metal. There was a storm coming, or perhaps it was on its way out.

The three companions watched as the icon so familiar to them all faded away into another dimension. There was no coming back this time, The Doctor had made sure of that. He and his companions had teamed up to stop the many threats to the Earth that that the gaps in space-time had afforded. The fabric of reality was healing, the world saved, and once again the people of Earth knew nothing of the sacrifices of the man who calls himself The Doctor.

The little blue time machine, the TARDIS made its final exit slowly and reluctantly, becoming gradually more transparent as it passed through the quickly-closing gap in the fabric of reality. After it was no longer visible, the three could still hear the whirring of its various on board motors, until that faded away as well.

"So that's what this feels like," said The Doctor.

"Yeah," said Rose.

"I'm sorry," said The Doctor. Rose looked up at him. He was the same man she loved, but at the same time he wasn't. This Doctor was a clone. No – not a clone, a twin. A copy. DNA had been mixed up and spit out and he had been the result. The real Doctor was in the TARDIS. This man was also the Doctor, with the same memories, the same thoughts, the same face - but he was no longer a Time Lord. He was part human. He could spend the rest of his life raising a family and growing old with her. He could give her things the real Doctor never could. Rose knew she should be happy, but why then did she feel cheated?

Jackie pulled her coat closer to her, shoving her hands deep in her pockets. She surveyed the scene. Rose and the Doctor standing hand in hand looking at the imprint the TARDIS had left in the sand. Rose had her doctor at last. The past two years they had toiled, finding a way back into their proper dimension to find him. So that they could save the universe, so that Rose could have this. They had all lost a Doctor, but there was still one here. She hoped that her daughter would find peace in that fact. She had been so restless and unhappy here without him. Poor Mikey was left with a shell of what he once loved, their relationship turned platonic after they were transported through dimensions into their alternate reality, after the Doctor. Poor Mickey. Jackie wondered about him, back in their proper reality. What would he do, where would he go? She wished him the best. She walked over to Rose and the Doctor.

"Rose, let me have your phone?" she asked.

"Oh – sure mum, here you go," said Rose. She took her phone out of her pocket and handed it to her mum. Jackie dialed and put the phone to hear ear, her head bent trying to escape from the wind.

"Thank goodness for sonic screwdrivers, eh?" said the Doctor. He slipped his hand into his suit jacket pocket, then into his pants pocket. Rose knew what he was looking for, and she knew it was in the possession of the other Doctor. It hurt her to watch him fumbling for what she knew to be absent, like a phantom limb. Rose took his hand and they walked over to a large piece of driftwood and sat down.

"It's not here. No screwdriver, no TARDIS. I'm afraid I have nothing to offer you, Rose, except another mouth to feed" said The Doctor.

"Oh shut it," said Rose. "You know that's not why I -" she paused, swallowed. "Anyway, money's not a problem for us in this universe."

"Right! Pete's done well for himself, I nearly forgot."

"Yeah, all his daft schemes. Mum and I can't complain, though. It's a whole lot different from back home – well, our other home."

"This, being here, has been all right for you then? I wondered how you were getting on, I didn't get a chance to ask you earlier."

"It's been fine. We've adjusted, I guess you could say. I suppose it will be different for you here too, Doctor, since you really only traveled through the other universe."

"Right, I suppose it will be."

Rose rubbed her hands together in a futile effort to warm them. She had worked so hard for so long to get her Doctor back and now she was at a loss for what to say to him. She was trying to put together the bizarre nature of the situation from his point of view as well as her own.

"So, Doctor, what do you think the other Doctor and Donna are up to now?" she asked, trying her best not to inflect any meaning behind her tone. The Doctor looked straight ahead, eyes narrowed, mouth tight.

"I don't envy him at all, I'm afraid," he said.

"Why not? Where are they going? You – _he_ looked pretty cozy with her when they hopped back in the TARDIS not ten minutes ago."

"Rose, stop it. Donna is – _was_ one of my best friends. He's got to take her home, it's over. All my thoughts and knowledge, the mind of a Time Lord, is swirling around in her human brain. It's too much for her. Too much for anyone, really. That was never supposed to happen. He's going to have to wipe her mind and hope for the best. Hope that she doesn't remember any of this."

"But she seemed fine! That whole time, she was brilliant! Why does he need to wipe her mind? I didn't even know you could do that."

"Well, I can't, not anymore," said The Doctor. He tapped his chest, indicating his single heart. "Part human. He has no choice. Donna's mind could overload at any second – she could die. Oh, I hope he does it in time. She could die and it's my fault!" The Doctor stood up and rubbed his eyes hard with the heels of his hands. He shook his head vigorously, ran his fingers through his hair and put his hands in his pockets.

"She won't die!" Rose said to his back. "Doctor, she won't. Surely you know yourself enough to know that you would never let that happen! I bet they're both safely back on Earth and her brain's all – human again, by now. And it's not your fault, none of this is anyone's fault."

Rose stood and looked for her mother. She saw her talking on her phone. She hoped her dad would drive fast to pick them up, she was getting downright cold. She walked around to face The Doctor. She grabbed his hands with both of hers.

"None of this is anyone's fault," she repeated. Maybe this time one of them would believe it. He squeezed her hands, smiled.

"Like I said, I don't envy him at all. He's just had to leave everyone he cares about, one way or another. Martha's getting on with her life and Donna won't remember him tomorrow. He had to leave you, _again. _As if the first time weren't hard enough. If I were him, and I am – kind of, I wouldn't be very happy being myself at all." He looked at Rose's contrary expression and smiled. "You know that's not what I mean. He'll be traveling alone for a while, no doubt; angry and reckless. He's going to get himself into trouble that way – he always does."

Rose took the Doctor's hand and walked toward Jackie, who was just hanging up the sonicked cell phone. She laughed at her mother's animated protestations of the cold.

"Pete says he'll be here as fast as he can. A good couple hours, I'm guessing. Hopefully we're not frozen to death by then! Thank goodness for your phone or we would be, I guess" said Jackie.

"Yeah, well, thank The Doctor" said Rose. Jackie smiled and nodded at him in thanks.

"Are you okay? Weird things happening today, after all" asked Jackie.

"Me? Yeah. I'm always okay," said The Doctor.

The three sat on the large piece of driftwood, huddling to keep warm. One hour passed slowly, almost mockingly; then two. The sun was setting, turning the sky violent shades of orange and pink. It was a striking image, but it meant it was getting colder as well.

"The first thing I'm going to do when we get home is take a very hot bath," said Jackie.

"You'll have to fight me for it!" said Rose.

"A bath! Brilliant! It's been ages since I've had a bath. We can watch TV! Or we can go grocery shopping! Or we can just sit on your sofa and do nothing! Wow." said The Doctor. His eyes lit up and his face softened. It made Rose feel warmer just looking at him.

"We can do whatever we want, Doctor. We've got all the time in the world," said Rose. She gave the Doctor the smallest of winks.

"This is – wow, I've never had a life like this. This is something new," said The Doctor.

"Just like you," said Rose.

"Yeah! You're right. Just like me," said The Doctor.

The sound of car tires on sand was the best thing that had happened to Jackie in hours. She moved faster than either Rose or the Doctor thought she could. Waving and jumping, she flagged down Pete's Lexus.

"Finally! I can't feel my feet anymore!" yelled Jackie. Pete got out of his car and ran to her, they embraced. Pete nearly picking her up in the act.

"You crazy woman! You could have died!" said Pete.

"Yeah, but I didn't!" said Jackie.

Rose ran to hug Pete, her adopted father.

"You didn't think you were going to get rid of me that easy, did you?" said Rose. Pete beamed at her for a moment, and then grew serious.

"This is it, right? I can see you've accomplished what you set out to do," he said, motioning to The Doctor. "But, you're through jumping through cracks in time, yeah? I can't take much more of this. The waiting, the worrying - "

"Yeah, Dad. This is it. We couldn't now, even if we wanted to."

"Don't I know it," said The Doctor. He walked up behind Rose to Pete and shook his hand heartily. "Thanks, Mr. Tyler. Appreciate the lift."

"Thanks yourself, Doctor, for keeping my ladies safe. And you can call me Pete," said Pete. The doctor grinned widely.

"Thanks, Pete" said The Doctor.

The group walked toward the car. Jackie was there first, bundled up in her coat and a spare blanket from the back seat, turning the heater up as high as it would go. Rose and The Doctor hopped in the back, snapping in their seat belts as Pete turned the radio on low.

"Rose?" asked The Doctor.

"Yes, Doctor?"

"Do you have the fixings for chops and gravy at your house?"

"I don't know. Mum?"

"I think we might, unless your father ate them already."

"Still there." said Pete.

"Brilliant," said The Doctor.

"Let's go home," said Rose. The Doctor pondered the word "home", a word that had meant so many different things to him in his 907 years. In all that time, "home" had never meant a house on Earth. In that moment he rejoiced in the familiar comfort of being safe with his friends, and his love, on the planet he realized he had come to regard as home as much as the planet of his birth.

Pete's Lexus rolled slowly off the beach. The turn signal made a soft clicking sound as they turned onto the main road. Rose rested her head on the Doctor's shoulder, he stroked her hair. They were on their way home.


	2. Pete

The Tyler residence was more than worthy of being called a mansion. It was large even for a large family; palatial when it was home to only Pete, Jackie and Rose, their Yorkie terrier. There was a room for everything. They had bedrooms, bathrooms, laundry rooms, gym. Jackie had a closet the size of a bedroom, with an entire wall dedicated to her extensive shoe collection. Pete had his own office complete with mahogany paneled walls, and furnished with a massive oak desk and a high-backed red velvet upholstered chair. It fueled his creativity and his testosterone simultaneously. He often retired to his office in the evenings after supper, where he could enjoy scotch whiskey and cigars in relative peace. The peace would end when Jackie found out he was smoking in the house. He prided himself on being a simple man, a clever man, and most importantly: a self-made man.

Jackie's parents never in their wildest dreams imagined that Pete Tyler would make a fortune – especially not by peddling his daft energy drinks. They never believed he would amount to anything beyond a working class drone, but then, hardly anyone believed that. On his worst days, Pete didn't even believe it. He would hit a wall in his creative process, drink himself into a stupor, and gabber on about how if he were smart, he would have gone to law school like his parents told him he should. Only one person was ever able to talk sense into him when he was in that state of mind: Jackie. For as much of a hard time as she would give him back in the day about leaving his rubbish all over their tiny apartment and not spending enough time on her, Jackie believed in Pete Tyler. She believed in him beyond his ability to make money with his inventions. She believed in his drive, his passion and his assertion that he could make people feel better with something he made. She knew there was greatness in him. Pete counted on her to remind him of that, from time to time. He also counted on her to keep him grounded and humble. She reminded him of nights spent huddled around a space heater eating dehydrated egg noodles in their cramped downstairs apartment underneath a large Russian family. She reminded him of why he tried so hard to live his dream and how she helped make that possible. She worked two jobs to make up for his lack of income when necessary. They were poor for a long time, but they were always happy. Pete's success came with wealth to everyone's surprise and delight. The couple said goodbye to their Russian neighbors and moved into the biggest house Pete could find. They entertained guests with dinner parties and cocktail parties. Jackie would regale Pete with comments she overheard her guests making about their house or what she was wearing or general rumors. It was generally accepted by all that Pete and Jackie Tyler had a life to be envied.

Of course, they had their fights and disagreements, just like any couple. She would nag him for being away too often, he would tease her for spending large amounts of money on frivolities. She would get mad at something he said and yell that she should have listened to her mother and ran away to Fiji the night before their wedding. He would yell back that he wouldn't have any trouble finding a new girlfriend on account of his owning the biggest house on the block.

Pete Tyler stretched his legs out and rested them on a red velvet footstool. He slouched low in his high-backed chair, lit the end of an expensive cigar, and exhaled deeply. He would give anything to have his Jackie yell at him like that one more time. Yell at him about something that didn't matter. It hurt when she told him she wanted a trial separation, that she couldn't live with him any longer. It hurt when he had to go about his business and pretend that his life was as flawless and as enviable as it had ever been. Those things hurt, but it was nothing compared to what he felt when he learned that his Jackie had been taken from him. Taken and turned into one of those soulless robots. A human brain encased in a metal body. All that had been vivid and brilliant in his wife was surgically removed that night at the hands of his business partner, John Lumic.

Naturally, Lumic didn't know he had captured Pete's wife. If he did, however, he wouldn't have cared. Pete was right to be suspicious of Lumic and his ambitions. The man was sick, mentally and physically. He was vulnerable and weak, but he was wickedly clever. If only Pete had been more aggressive, he could have done something to prevent – anything. Pete shook his head, trying to clear the poisonous thoughts. If Jackie were here, his Jackie, she would tell him it wasn't his fault. She would tell him that, and he might even have believed her. He sipped at his glass of Scotch, savoring the flavor of it, and then the burn as the liquid coated his throat. He could hear movement in the hall outside. For one brief moment, he thought about putting out his cigar and fanning the smoke out the window. Then he remembered that there was no need for that.

Pete sat in his office contemplatively. These days he often thought about the mixed blessing of all mixed blessings. He felt his insides plunge when he saw Jackie walking toward him, after he knew very well that Jackie was dead. This was Jackie from a parallel universe, and what's more, she had with her their daughter, Rose. Well, Jackie and Pete's daughter Rose from that other dimension. A stranger turned out to be his daughter, his wife returns from the dead and they are in the company of a strange man who calls himself "The Doctor" whom is also an alien. He was trying to think of a time when stranger things had happened.

Pete realized that this Jackie was never his wife, and Rose wasn't exactly his daughter. However, circumstances brought them together, and behaving like a family unit seemed only natural to the three. They were all in their own way delighted and disturbed by their situation, but each purposefully overlooked the strangeness and was determined to make their situation work. Jackie and Rose were separated from The Doctor and stranded in Pete's world; friendless and homeless. Pete had just lost everything and had a house big enough to quarter an army. Naturally, he offered his home to the time travelers.

In Rose, he saw a beautiful, strong, remarkable girl. Rose had Jackie's eyes and her indomitable spirit. Pete couldn't help but notice his genetic influence in her as well. His nose, his fair skin, his intellect, he even thought that her laugh sounded remarkably like his – genuine and full. Everything in him wanted to accept Rose as his daughter, even if his brain told him that she wasn't actually his. It helped that Rose wanted so badly for him to be her father, that she called him "Dad", and that she was instantly familiar to him.

In Jackie, he saw the woman he loved. She was vivacious and funny, always the center of attention. This Jackie had lost her Pete long ago; he died in a car crash. She had accepted that her partner was dead and remembered the best things about him. She was as shocked as he to be reunited with her lost love. Even though circumstances were different in this universe, the basis of their relative relationships remained the same. They were founded on trust and mutual admiration. Pete asked this Jackie about her Pete, and she grilled him about his Jackie. There were differences, but they couldn't help but notice the similarities. Pete and Jackie decided it would be best if they were just friends in this universe - until the first night in Pete's big house. Jackie crept through the cold hallways to find Pete's gigantic master bedroom late that night, and continued to do so every night thereafter. They didn't want to alarm Rose. She would no doubt go on about how she was worried about them confusing their feelings. They were adults. They had loved and lost and found their lost loves again. They needed this. With Jackie, even this Jackie, Pete felt like he could achieve anything. He felt like a child amazed at the possibilities of life and the universe, and found himself contemplating things like fate and true love.

It was these contemplations that made him so willing to thrust all his effort and resources into helping Rose find The Doctor. They researched technology after technology and finally found a dimension gate that would allow them to jump as The Doctor does, between space and time. It was a race against time, in fact, since the Dalek threat was imminent and the entire universe was at stake. Rose insisted that The Doctor was the only one who could prevent these horrible things from happening to the universe. She needed to help the man she loved, to save him, but she also had the unshakable feeling that she was key to the future of the universe. Pete remembered feeling like that. He looked into Rose's eyes, his would-be daughter, and saw the raw hope and drive that made him into the man he became. He knew that he would do everything within his power to help her at that moment. He gave her all that he could, and stood patiently by while she left to fight her intergalactic battle. He worried, of course, he did a lot of pacing in the days that followed; especially when Jackie announced that she was going after her daughter. He didn't want to fight her, he knew he would lose. As much as he dreaded the thought of losing her again, he knew that it was his turn to believe in her as his Jackie had once believed in him.

It was approximately 4pm on a Tuesday in March when he got the phone call from Jackie letting him know that they were all safe and waiting for him to pick them up at Bad Wolf Bay. Jackie, Rose, and even The Doctor had made it back. The Daleks were vanquished and the universe safe. Jackie tried to explain as much as she could about the events, but the sound of her voice made him so happy that he couldn't understand what she was saying. Take the GPS, bring a blanket and hurry up were the main points he got from their conversation. His hands trembled as he hung up the phone and reached for his car keys. Delirious with joy, he drove as fast as he could to the coordinates read to him by the GPS. The sight of Jackie jumping and waving made his heart leap. They were reunited, they were a family again. They even had an addition in The Doctor. From what Jackie had said, it seemed like he would be staying with them for a while.


	3. Dinner with the Tylers

It was Friday afternoon – late afternoon. The sun was flirting with the horizon, turning the sky orange and making the clouds look like cotton candy. People on the streets were walking determinedly to their various end-of-the-day destinations attached to their phones or their music players. The roads were a blur of red tail lights as folks hurried home from their daytime occupations. Rose looked out the shop window as she tidied up before closing. It had been a week since her return and she had managed to get her old job back at the department store where she'd been working. She had to do a lot of creative explaining to her boss, of course. The creativity was in the part where she completely made up a story that sounded like a plausible excuse for being a no-call, no-show for the two days that she was absent. Rose decided to leave out the part where she was in a parallel universe fighting an alien threat to all existence, it seemed like the most logical thing to do.

She was getting quite good at those creative excuses. She needed a lot of them while she was researching ways to jump back to her proper dimension in search of The Doctor. She was absent for days at a time, or called away at odd hours, or inexcusably late on several occasions. She had lost several make believe relatives, been called in as a police witness, been mugged, and suffered power outages that affected her alarm. She knew her boss wasn't an idiot, but she was amazed at how easy it was to flat out lie to him and have him believe her. Or rather, it seemed like he believed her – she wasn't sure if he actually did. It didn't matter, as long as she still had a place to go and occupy herself for a while a couple of days per week.

Rose folded the last few sweaters on the rack, her manager shooing her out the door so that he could lock up and turn off the lights. She grabbed her bag and her coat and hurried out. She walked down the street, feeling the cold dusk air bite at her fingers and nose. Rose liked the walk home, she reveled in it. It gave her time to think. Sometimes she would stop at a cafe for a cup of tea, or she would take the scenic route to her house. For the past week she had been taking her time getting home. She had that much more to think about, since The Doctor had come back with them. With her. Rose was still wrapping her head around the reality of it all.

The Doctor was living in her house, sharing meals with her family, hanging out on the sofa, leaving his things in the bathroom, and lounging in her dad's office and sharing "man time". Pete and her mum had been so wonderful to him through the whole thing. He was part of the family now, whether he liked it or not. Rose often wondered if he liked it – or not. It was her biggest source of stress, actually. She wanted so badly for him to adjust well into being - human. He was all smiles, of course, running about and joking as always. When they were alone, they would reminisce about the times they had in the TARDIS and the adventures they had. She would pretend not to noticed the fleeting look of sadness in his eyes when he talked about his old life. He would have just denied it, if she brought it up.

The Doctor had his own room across the hall from Rose's. Pete and Jackie had insisted upon it. She laughed at his reaction to her parents' motive of protecting her virtue. What year did they think this was? She shrugged and smiled slyly. They didn't have to know _everything_ that happened back on the TARDIS. She knew that The Doctor would need his own space, anyway. A space for him to sort out his own rubbish and just be alone. For such a large house, she observed, it was amazing how infrequently she was by herself.

Rose shoved her hands deep inside her jacket pockets. She felt some feeling return to her frozen fingertips. She wanted to do something for The Doctor, but what? What could she possibly do for the man who had already done so much for her? For mankind? She had been puzzling at this since they had gotten home on the first day they were back. She wanted him to be happy here, but she was at a loss as to how to make that possible. She was both frustrated and intrigued by the puzzle of what to do for him. She spent countless hours on the internet looking for anything that could trigger an idea. Rose turned and walked into the entryway of her house, her mind buzzing. She was greeted by Rose, the yapping Yorkie. Were they ever going to change the dog's name?

"Hey girl, you're a good doggie, aren't you?" she said. She reached down to scratch the dog behind her furry ears, then tried to avoid stepping on the squirrelly little thing.

Rose put her bag and keys down on a side table in the kitchen. She found The Doctor there, halfway through a cheese sandwich.

"Hiya," he said, mouth stuffed with sandwich.

"Hi there," she said. "Do you want a cup of tea? I was just going to put the kettle on."

"Too late," he said, and gestured to the kettle on the stove.

"Oh, you really are brilliant. You know that, right?" said Rose. She sat down hard on a chair at the table.

"I've suspected as much," he said.

"So what have you been doing with your day, Doctor?"

"Read a bit, finished half Pete's library. Took little Rose out for a wee," he winked at her. "We only just got back."

"Ah. You enjoy that entirely too much, you realize," she said, giving him an ironic smile. Rose toyed with the edge of the white linen tablecloth. "Given any more thought to, you know, finding something to do? A club or a job, perhaps?"

"I have. You know, Rose, for as much as I was dreading just loafing about around here, I actually kind of like it. I think I'm getting used to the, um, life of leisure, as they say."

"Yes well, take it from me, it's all well and good for the first couple of weeks or so, and then -" Rose trailed off, shaking her head. "I just don't want you to get bored," she pleaded.

"Don't worry about me, Rose. Besides, do you realize how long it's been since I've had a nice long stretch of nothing? It's exquisite, really. Molto bene!" said The Doctor. Rose looked at him, suspicious. "Really, I mean it. I'm catching up on my – reading. Rediscovering my love for afternoon television; though these shows aren't quite what I remembered, but then – parallel universe."

"Oh well, all right then," she said.

The Doctor finished his sandwich and walked over to the stove. He poured two cups of tea and brought them over to the table. He stirred his idly, watching Rose warm her hands on the cup.

"Where's Mum?" she asked.

"She's just gone – somewhere. I know she said where before she left, I didn't hear her. She should be back soon, I imagine."

The Doctor and Rose sat at the kitchen table together, sipping at their tea. Rose the dog looked on from a bed put aside for her in the corner of the room. The sun was setting, it was almost dark. Rose reached for The Doctor's hand and held it in her own. His hand was warm, dry, and comforting as it had always been. He squeezed her hand gently, reassuringly. Her heart leaped in her chest. She scooted her chair closer to him, so that their arms were touching from shoulder to fingertips. The sun set.

The sound of the garage door sent the little dog into a yapping frenzy as she dashed off to discover who was home. Rose squeezed and let go of The Doctor's hand and went to grab her bag.

"That'll be Dad, I hope he's brought dinner," she said. The Doctor grunted in agreement and picked up the two teacups, relocating them to the sink.

Pete walked in the door from the garage, a large paper bag in his arms. He tried to avoid stepping on the barking little dog.

"Rose, you don't make this easy!" he said to the dog.

"What did I do?" Rose answered.

"Oh, hi Rose. I was talking to – well," he nodded at Rose the dog. Rose laughed. Pete liked to hear Rose laugh.

"I knew that. What did you bring home, then?" she asked, peeking over the edge of the paper bag.

"Chinese, from the place down the street," he replied.

"Yum. I'll be right back, just going to put my things upstairs," she said.

Jackie made it home just after Pete. Rose busied herself with setting up the table. The Doctor stayed with her in the kitchen, watching her and chewing on the end of a pen. The new family ate their meal in quiet. It was a peaceful silence, not unpleasant or awkward. A silence for reflection at the end of the day. Pete was always so tired after his work days, he couldn't be pressed to say much of anything. Jackie finished her meal and rested her face on her hand, pushing her plate away from her. Rose began to pack up the leftovers, bringing them to the refrigerator. The Doctor left his place and walked out onto the patio. Rose noticed his departure as she loaded the dishwasher. Pete and Jackie retired to the family room to share the couch and entertain themselves with evening TV. Rose looked at them from the doorway, and then went out to the patio.

It was cold, there was a slight wind. Rose could smell smoke from a neighbor's chimney. She looked up at the sky. The stars were bright, Rose could make out a planet shining brighter than the rest, but she did not know which one it was. She had come out here so many times when she and The Doctor were apart, wishing with all her being that she would see the TARDIS flying across the sky, coming back for her. She saw The Doctor sitting on the stair in his shirtsleeves, showing no regard for the cold. He looked up at the stars. Rose went to sit beside him and nudged him gently. He put his arm around her.

"It's Jupiter," he said, smiling down at her.

"Yeah, I was just going to say that -" she said.

"Of course you were," he said. There was a pause; a swelling, pregnant pause.

"Don't tell me you're not bored, Doctor," she said. The Doctor pulled away from her.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked, his tone defensive. He tried his best to correct himself, softening his face. "I told you not to worry about me, Rose. I see you, you look at me like – like I'm going to break at any minute!"

"And what, I'm not allowed to be concerned? You're sitting around here watching afternoon tele and pretending you're happy about it?"

"Yes, well, like I said – what am I supposed to do?" he said. The question resonated within Rose's head. His eyes were searching hers, as if for an answer. "What am I supposed to do?" he asked again.

"I -" she faltered.

"There were so many more places I wanted to take you. Ruins, great civilizations, lots more aliens. Lots more trouble," he smiled at her, his eyes weren't in it. "I'm used to being the master of my own destiny, I suppose, and now I'm – here, trapped in space and time. It has never seemed so confining before. I can feel this body aging, Rose. It's only been a week, but I feel different every day. I'm different, I'm changed. I need to – I don't know. I – I miss the TARDIS," he said, defeated.

"Me too," she said.

"Rose, it was so much more than a time machine. Imagine – imagine you had a dog. This dog is loyal to you to a fault, he knows all sorts of brilliant tricks and saves your hide thousands of times. Also, this dog can transport you through space and time -" said The Doctor. Rose gave him a sideways glance. "Stay with me. Then, one day, there is a replica of yourself who is, for all intents and purposes, the same as you. Then, you watch the replica of yourself leave you stranded on a planet with no foreseeable way out and he leaves with your dog. Does that work? No, that doesn't work at all," he sighed heavily. "The TARDIS was a part of me, and now its gone. I'm lost," he said.

"I know, I really do. I'm sorry. I know it wasn't just a time machine. Do you remember that time I absorbed the energies of time vortex from the heart of the TARDIS?" she asked. The Doctor looked at her and smiled.

"Of course, it was the first time I kissed you," he said. The Doctor's eyes connected with Rose's, he could feel the tension building up in his chest, his single heart working overtime. Not now, he told himself. It's not right. He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. I'm going on like I'm the only injured party in all this. I didn't mean to condescend," he said.

Rose sat back, her hands behind her, supporting her. Adrenaline was pumping through her body. She felt her insides do a kind of dance which had just turned into a dance of disappointment. Again. She thought of the kiss they shared on the beach, when she asked each Doctor what they were going to say to her before they left on the worst day of her life. She had grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and pulled him to her. It was so cinematic, so perfect. She remembered the warmth and urgency with which he returned her kiss, the feel of his hand wrapping around her waist and pulling her closer. She wondered when she was going to get a kiss like that again. Rose breathed deep.

"So are you saying that you're angry with the other Doctor, then?"

"No! Yes. No. 'Betrayed' isn't the right word. 'Abandoned' isn't either. I mean, who has the rights to the TARDIS? We're the same person, but you heard him. I'm dangerous, born of war, full of revenge and all that. He knew what he was doing, he left me with you. He – I – I would have done the same thing."

Rose pulled her jacket closer to her body. She studied The Doctor; his hair was disheveled as if he had been running his hands through it. His hands were balled up in his lap, she could see the muscles in his jaw clenching.

"I'm an explorer, Rose. We both are. I can't sit still. This – this just isn't me. How do you explain not being bored to death as a girl in a shop? It's ridiculous," he said. Rose's eyes widened, offended.

"Doctor, this is my life! It's the way I lived before I met you, and it's how I lived for the two years I was stuck here before I found you again. People do this everyday. I know it's not you, I know. I don't know how to help you. I wish I did, I wish you'd let me," said Rose.

"You didn't answer my question," he said.

"Which one was that?"

"How are you not bored to tears in that shop of yours?"

"I told you, if I stayed here all the time I'd go mad, what with Mum – well, you know. I'm not bored there. I have – friends."

"Oh yeah, what are their names?"

"Her name is Emily."

"Why haven't I met her?"

"You've only been here for a week."

"What do you talk about?"

"Well, she does most of the talking. It's really none of your business, actually."

"You can't talk about the things you really want to talk about, though, can you?"

"What are you trying to say?"

"You know what I'm trying to say."

Rose turned away from The Doctor. So difficult! Did he really want her to just break down and sob about things that could never happen again? That would be enabling his – funk, or whatever he was in. She needed to be strong for both of them, now. She turned to face him again.

"I've been saving money, that's what I've been doing, Doctor. I just wanted something of my own. Pete's been more than generous, but I feel weird about asking him for things like that. I know you can't sonic an ATM for us anymore, so I figured I should have something saved up."

"Oh -" said The Doctor. Rose's eyes brightened, she placed her hand on The Doctor's knee.

"Listen, there's no time like the present, right? I'll take some time off and we can go exploring, get ourselves into a bit of trouble, yeah? I know we haven't got all of space and time, but we have now and we have Earth. There's got to be someplace you haven't been." she asked, her excitement audible in her voice.

The Doctor grinned at Rose, a big heartfelt grin. She was trying so hard. The prospect of getting away with her was more than enticing. Maybe it would even help him feel better.

"That sounds brilliant," he said.

The Doctor and Rose stood up. They walked hand in hand back into the house. Rose, elated that she finally thought of something that she could do for this man. Something fun, something that he would enjoy. She felt a warmth at the idea of an actual holiday with her Doctor. Who was she kidding? She knew there was most likely going to be some running involved.


End file.
